


The Dreams that Were

by Ughdestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alastair Being an Asshole, Astral Projection, Bullying, Canon Gay Relationship, Coming Out, Creepy Alastair, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Gay Bashing, Homophobia, Homophobic John Winchester, Homophobic Language, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jock Dean, M/M, Nerd Castiel, Possible Character Death, Sad Ending, Sad and Happy, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-25 17:02:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3818119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ughdestiel/pseuds/Ughdestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While getting beat up one day after school, Castiel is rescued and met bloodied and broken faced to face with his crush. Dean Winchester. When Castiel passes out due to lack of oxygen and blood, his spirit escapes, and watches as Dean Winchester cares for his body.<br/>With Castiel's new gift of astral projection, he learns a few things about Dean (and from Dean ;)) and how his power can keep them together, even during hard times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

There is a line between what is real and what is not. The real: existing or occurring as fact; actual rather than imaginary, ideal, or fictitious. The imaginary: existing only in the imagination or fancy; not real. For every individual person, the line that separates these two can be either thick or thin. Some people can only see one side of the void, but others can differentiate between the two. Of the people that are able to differentiate, many can have an out-of-body experience that assumes the existence of an “astral body" separate from the physical body and capable of travelling outside it, or astral projection as it is called. So basically, these people can be completely asleep, but their minds are awake, walking the earth as lively spirits.

***

*Castiel*

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz……_

_Jesus fucking christ god motherfucking shit bricks fucking fuck fuck fuck. Who the hell is calling me at this god forsaken hour. I’m going to murder whoever is calling me right now. Jesus FUCK._

Castiel am not a morning person. Honestly, if you are someone that he talks to on a normal basis- i.e. Kevin and Balthazar- then you know that he needs at least four and a half hours of sleep every night in order to not murder everyone with death glares all day.

_1 missed call from: Kevin from Adv. Placement._

_2 New Text Messages:_

_Message from: Kevin from Adv. Placement:_

_[Dude, Castiel, where are you? School starts in 10 minutes. You missed the Earth Club meeting, too.]_

_Message from: Balthazar the Brit._

_[Wakey wakey Sleeping Beauty. You’re going to be late for school…]_

_Shit._

Castiel sprung out of bed. He’s been late to school before (all the time actually), but it’s not like he does it on purpose. Castiel hates being late, it’s his thing. Some people are athletic, insanely smart, pretty, funny, or artistic, but Castiel is just late.   

Rushing to school isn’t always a good thing with Castiel, though. Before he’s even out the door, Castiel has; tripped on his laundry, dropped his contact lense on the bathroom floor, accidently swallowed (a lot of) toothpaste, burned his hand on the stove while trying to reach his cereal box, had to skip breakfast due to medical attention to his burn, and broke his backpack trying to shove all he needed for the day into it. Sighing, Castiel picks ups what’s left of his cheap bag and jogs to his car.

7:28 he reads off of his wristwatch. _Great, I’m late. Again,_  Castiel thinks as he walks into Lawrence High Home of the Angels. It’s ironic to Castiel that his version of hell on Earth is home to “Angels”, as if they existed. Jogging down the empty halls of the school to his classroom, Castiel enters his psychology class, only being two minutes late. His teacher, Mrs, Harvelle, watches as Castiel takes his seat in the back of the classroom. Mrs. Harvelle and Castiel have an unspoken respect for one another. Castiel always does extra work around her classroom, and is the top student in her class, so she doesn’t really mind that he’s late all the time.

As Castiel finally makes his way to his seat behind surrounded the s.o.b’s of the school (the jocks), he realizes, _Shit. My textbook is at home…_

“Son of a bitch,” Castiel mutters to himself. Beside him, Alastair McDouchebag is using his textbook as a stand for his paper football, which he is aiming straight at Castiel. _Flick_. The little paper triangle bounces off of Castiel’s shoulder and lands on the floor. _Really? Was that fucking necessary? You’re such a fucking child, Alastair_ , Castiel thought to himself. He would never have said that to Alastair’s face. Alastair is captain of the school’s football team, and is head honcho of every douchebag that can beat up a kid in this school. Alastair likes to use certain people as his punching bag. The scrawny, nerdy, quiet voiced, nobody people. People like Castiel, who just happened to be Alastair’s favorite punching bag.

“Hey, fag...pst. Castiel,” Alastair hissed. Castiel turned to face the bastard. Everyone knew that Castiel was gay at the school. He came out in 7th grade when he had told Lisa Braden that he had a crush on some guy in his science class. No one seemed to care that he was gay until Alastair enrolled into Lawrence High three years ago. Ever since, Castiel had been beat up almost daily. Being called a fag almost didn’t faze Castiel anymore. It still stung a little bit, but Castiel had no choice but to deal with it. _Say something back, inbiscle. Show him that you won’t take his shit._

“W-what,” Castiel stuttered back. _Nice, Castiel. That’ll show him._

“Hows about you and my fist have a nice meeting after school? Hm? Its been what? 18 hours since your last beating?” Alastair laughed a wheezy snicker. Although he was a star athlete with everyone begging (everyone except the people like Castiel) to be buddy-buddy, Alastair’s best friend was probably his box of Marlboros. That or Dean Winchester.

Dean Winchester. As much as Castiel hated to admit it, he had the biggest crush on the guy. He was tall, handsome, funny, almost the whole package. Despite being nearly best friends with Alastair, Dean was the kindest human being Castiel had ever met. This guy has never held a conversation with Castiel, but the way he acts around others makes Castiel warm and fuzzy on the inside. He doesn’t bully the scrawny kids like Alastair (so no punches to the face with his nice, strong, hands), he doesn’t smoke (no bad smell or gross cough laughing), and one time, Dean picked up a paper Castiel had dropped on the floor for Earth club, and Dean picked it up, handed it to Castiel and said, “Cool, poster. Bees are awesome.” - then he walked away. *sigh* Dean’s eyes reminded Castiel of spring and summer. They are a valley in Ireland with flickers of gold from the sun. They are a green apple sucker from the candy shoppe on Main Street. They are hypnotizing. Castiel could dream about Dean’s eyes all day if he could. But, the only thing more distracting than Dean’s eyes… his lips. Dean’s cupids bow lips would be the death of Castiel. And his voice. The voice of that man could impregnate any female on this planet. Like, blah blah blah _BOOM. Pregnant. If only he were to say my name.. God I’d probably come in my pants… Castiel… Castiel..._

“Castiel,” Mrs. Harvelle said. There was a little worry in her voice. Castiel shook his head out of his daydream and looked around. Everyone was staring at him. Some people starred with amusement, other disgust. Mrs. Harvelle cleared her throat to bring the attention off of Castiel and onto her lesson. _Why are you so fucking embarrassing? Jesus fucking christ, Castiel._ His eyes trailed back around the room, and everyone seemed to be paying attention to the lesson again _. I hate myself…_

***

Sitting in a classroom for an hour seems like a short time, but really it’s an eternity. Especially when a person with the greenest eyes of existence sits directly behind you. Castiel was never good with math anyway, so this made it even harder to maintain his straight A’s. The class was just starting their new chapter on hyperbolas (fucking advanced algebra…) when Castiel heard a pencil drop to the floor behind him, which rolled towards his foot. Dean Winchester was always dropping his pencil. Literally, Dean probably dropped his pencil 8 times in a class period. Castiel just wanted to tape the damn thing to Dean’s hand. There was a tap on his shoulder and Castiel had no choice but to turn around. He forced his eyes to not stare directly into Deans.  

“Hey, man. Sorry, but could you grab my pencil? It’s right by your foot,” Dean asked. His voice rumbled, making Castiel’s heart skip a beat. He paused for a moment, trying to get his brain to create the action of bending down to reach the pencil. _Oh my god, move, idiot._ Castiel reached down and plucked Dean’s pencil from the ground. There were little bite marks from where Dean had chewed on his pencil. Castiel turned around and handed Dean his pencil. He hadn’t expected it to happen, but their fingers brushed as the piece of wood was transferred between the two. It sent electricity through every nerve in Castiel’s body. He glanced up at Dean. Big Fucking Mistake. Castiel was lost in green and gold. Dean smiled at Castiel and stared back into Castiel’s eyes. Castiel blushed, quickly spun around, and blinked twice. _I just touched Dean Winchesters hand. Jesus fuck. Oh my god. His eyes…_

“Hey, thanks, Castiel,” Dean whispered. _He knows my name. Jesus Christ he knows my name. Holy Fuck Nuggets, Dean Winchester knows my name._

Castiel tried to focus back on their lesson. He scribbled some notes on his piece of paper, along with the homework pages for that night. Castiel wouldn’t do the homework, but he would always write it down in case he felt bored enough to do it.

_Dean Winchester knows my name..._

***

At lunch, Castiel always sat with Kevin and Balthazar. Sometimes his little sister, Anna, would join them, but today she didn’t. Castiel was glad. He had a story to share with his anti-homophobic friends that he didn’t need his blabby sister hearing.

Kevin was rambling on about something that was happening in his AP Calculus class when Castiel cleared his throat to speak.

“Thank you, Castiel! Please! Speak! I can’t take anymore of Kevin’s smart-talk!” Balthazar exclaimed. He was the dumbest of the three, and rarely understood what was going on in the classroom. 

Castiel chuckled and began his story.

“Oh my god, Castiel! That’s fantastic!” Kevin slapped Castiel’s shoulder.  

“Yeah! I can’t believe that that jock actually knows your name! Or can even pronounce it for that matter,” Balthazar glanced over at the jock table across the lunch room. The sweaty oafs were throwing some sort crackers at one another. They looked like Goldfish. “Honestly though, they look like children.” Castiel glanced over, too. He watched as Dean dodged cracker bullets, and even caught one in his mouth. He could see Dean laughing at something Alastair said, and then he turned towards the direction of the nerd’s table. Castiel quickly turned away, not wanting to be caught staring at the beautiful man. _Why must you crush on the most beautiful man of this school, Castiel? Why.?!_

***

Castiel always tries to get out of school before Alastair has the chance to grab him for a beating. It never works.

As Castiel rounded the corner onto the main hallway when a hand grabbed the back of his shirt, and pulled him to the boys bathroom on the second floor. The bathroom that no one dared to go into, because usually only one person would walk out. The others would limp or even crawl out. Castiel was usually the latter.

When they entered the bathroom, Castiel was immediately thrown to the floor and kicked. The metal end of Alastair’s shoes knocked the air out of Castiel’s lungs, and bruised his eyes. “You stupid gay. Why do you insist on making it so easy to pummel you?” Alastair asked. It was rhetorical, but Castiel tried to respond. He tried to say something, but all that came out was a low whine from the back of his throat. “Trying to talk back, Castiel? I see how it is,” Alastair shoved Castiel up off of the floor and punched him square in the jaw. Alastair’s knuckles cracked as they made contact. He swung again, hitting between Castiel’s mouth and nose, causing both to start bleeding. Again, Castiel tried to say something, but was stopped short when he was thrown to the ground for the second time. “No. No talking for you Castiel,” Alastair hissed as he placed his foot on Castiel’s chest. Castiel couldn’t breath. Alastair started adding more pressure on Castiel. “Oh no. You’ve been behaving badly today… Didn’t think we’d see you staring at our lunch table? Hmm? Didn’t think we’d notice you having goo-goo eyes at my boy Dean Winchester? We all know about your little crush on him. Who could blame you? The kids got some eyes… But they’re not for you, Castiel. You’ll just have to keep that little crush of yours-” Alastair was cut short by someone walking into the bathroom. “Hey, man. Get out. I’m busy with this dumb faggot over here,” Alastair sneered, not even looking at who the stranger was.

“Jesus Christ, Alastair! What the hell?” A deep, gravelly voice exclaimed. Alastair's head jerked around. The voice sounded like an angel. _It can’t be…_ Castiel thought. He tried to look around Alastair’s shoulder, but his eyes were too swollen to make out who was speaking.

 ********  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel discovers how his astral projection works. Dean shares some feelings, and a little something something happens between the two.

“Jesus Christ, Alastair! What the hell?”

“Dean? What are you doing?” Alastair backed away from Castiel. Castiel coughed and gasped for air as the weight from the boot left. He spit up some blood.

“What am I doing? What the hell are you doing? You’re killing the guy!” Dean walked over and started to help Castiel up off the ground. Castiel felt Dean’s hand support his limp body. “Hey, are you okay? Is this Castiel?” Dean asked. Castiel couldn’t respond. Castiel probably had a concussion, bruised ribs, split lip and a broken nose. How was he supposed to answer? _Say something, anything!_ “Jesus, Alastair! He’s really messed up! Why were you even doing this?!” Dean yelled.

“The guys a fag, Dean-” Alastair started to say, but Dean cut him off.

“So that means you can beat him up? That’s disgusting! If that’s the only reason why you beat him up, then why don’t you beat me up?” Dean snapped.

Wait, what? Did Dean just… Castiel started to lose the rest of the feeling in his legs. He collapsed, but Dean caught his head before it hit the ground. Everything around Castiel started to go fuzzy. He heard a voice trying to gain his attention, but it was slowly fading. The voice sounded panicked. “Cas..!?”

***

Castiel was out. Cold. So why was he standing, looking down on his own body?  _Oh god. I’m dead. I’m fucking dead. The school bully murdered me and my crush watched me die. Fuck. Great way to go out._ But, Castiel’s body was still breathing. _Or am I in a coma? Am I in a coma? Thats better I guess…_ Castiel looked at Dean. He waved his hand in front of the green eyes man’s face. _Dean? Can you see me?_ No response. _Of course he can’t fucking see me. You’re an idiot, Castiel._ He tried to touch Dean’s shoulder, but there was a force, kind of like when two same sides on a magnet are placed together, keeping him from doing so.

Dean shook Castiel’s limp body as it laid on the floor. “Castiel. Castiel! Cas?!” The poor guy couldn’t even stand up anymore. Dean glared at Alastair from the ground, and Alastair glared back. “You beat this guy up because he’s gay, Alastair? That’s disgusting. Why the hell would you do that?! You even know that I’m not the straightest guy in school,” Dean hissed. “It’s taken me months to talk to Cas! You know that! Ever since the whole poster thing, I’ve felt like an idiot. And then you go and beat him up the day that I finally talk to him again?! What kind of a friend are you? He’s so fragile and then you go and break him. Have you done this to him before?” Dean was furious. _DID DEAN JUST SAY THAT HE HAD A CRUSH ON ME? HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER. well, not the whole getting beat up so bad that you’re knocked into a coma part BUT DEAN WINCHESTER HAS A FUCKING CRUSH ON ME. HOLY SHIT. JESUS FUCK. WAKE UP CASTIEL. WAKE THE FUCK UP!_ Alastair shook his head, “No, Dean. This is the first time I’ve beaten him up.” _LIES YOU LITTLE SHIT_. Castiel tried to punch Alastair across the face, but that mysterious force held him  ****

back. “I’m sorry, Dean. I just don’t think this scrawny little thing is worth getting so worked up about, just because he has a little crush on you. He’s a nobody,” Alastair sound like he was getting angry. “I don’t want him getting in the way of our friendship, or ruining our reputation!”

“You son of a bitch,” Dean looked outraged. His eyebrows were pushed together and his teeth were clenched. His hands were in fists and his knuckles were white. “You STUPID SON OF A BITCH!” Dean yelled and sprang up, grabbing Alastair’s collar. He started to pull his fist back to swing at Alastair. _Dean!_

Castiel’s spirit body tried to stop the two from fighting. He walked over to the two, but was forced back. This caused him to trip and fall on his own body. The two Castiels became one again.

The bruised and broken Castiel gasped for air again, coughing up blood onto his coat. His vision was blurry and his head pounded. He rolled over onto his side. He heard the bathroom door open and close again. _What the fuck?!_ Castiel felt hands on his shoulder and underneath him. He was being lifted off the floor.

“Cas? Cas, buddy you gotta stay with me. Look at me. Do you know who I am?” Dean spoke with force to get through to Castiel, but Castiel still couldn’t respond. His vision was starting to go dark again. His legs started to wobble. “Cas! Oh- nope you’re not going down again. I’m taking you to the hospital.” Dean started to walk forward with his arm around Castiel to support him, but Cas could barely move. His body was greatly oxygen deprived. Dean had no choice but to pick Castiel up, and carry him bridal style out of the bathroom, down the stairs, out the main doors of Lawrence High, and to his car. The Impala… _Oh god, I’m going to be riding in the Impala. I’m all bloody. My head feels like it’s going to explode. And I can't breathe. But, I’m going to be riding in the Impala…_

Dean’s car, a ‘67 Chevy Impala, is his prized possession. Dean, washed, waxes, oil changes, and fixes it on his own. Dean Winchester is great with cars. Especially his car.

The boys get to the Impala, and Dean gently places Castiel’s broken body in the passenger seat. He jogged around to the driver’s side and starts the car. The Impala roars to life, and Dean heads towards the hospital.

*******

It’s only about 10 minutes away, but the ride to the hospital feels like a year. Castiel can’t see straight, and he is going in and out of consciousness. Each time he goes under, Spirit Castiel is in the back seat. He reaches out and touches the other Castiel, only to wake up in the front seat again. Castiel moans with each transition.

“Cas, we’re almost there. Please, stay with me,” Dean sounds worried. _God Castiel. Why do you have to be so helpless around your crush? Honestly, you’re sitting in the front seat of Dean Winchester’s car, the Impala, and you’re barely even conscious? What the fuck? Try to at least say something!_ Castiel shifted in the seat enough to fall over onto Dean’s shoulder. “Cas?!” Dean really sounded worried now.

“I-I-I- I like yo…..” which was all Castiel could say before passing out again. _Did I just try to fucking tell Dean Winchester that I liked him? Great timing, idiot. You’re practically dying in his car, yet you have the nerve of dropping the “I like you” bomb on him. Good thing you passed out at the last second. Dumbass._ Spirit Castiel didn’t even bother to touch the other Castiel again. At least for a little while. He sat in the back seat and watched as Dean wrapped one arm around Castiel to support the broken man, and drove with the other.

They pulled into the Emergency Parking of the hospital. Dean parked the Impala in the closest spot to the doors as he could, and jumped out of the car. Dean opened the passenger side door and pick Castiel up. He adjusted Castiel’s head to rest between his chin and shoulder, then kicked the door of the Impala shut. Spirit Castiel moved through the side of the car to the outside _(That was fucking sweet!)_ , and followed quickly behind Dean as he jogged into the Emergency Room.

***

_This is so fucking amazing. Am I astral projecting? I’m going to mess with so many people. I’m like a fucking ghost! Only, I can go back to living once I touch myself again. WOW THAT SOUNDED REALLY GROSS._

Spirit Castiel wandered through the halls of the hospital as a ghost. People were rushing past him, and Castiel attempted to get out of their way. A nurse wheeling an old man who seemed to have cancer walked right through him. It felt weird to Castiel. But like a good weird. Spirit Castiel watched as Dean rested Castiel onto a gurney, and let the doctors whisk him away into a big white examination room. Dean was told to sit in the waiting area for a while. Spirit Castiel sat with him.

He watched as Dean pulled out his cell phone. He had 2 missed calls and 6 messages.

_2 missed calls from: Mom and Sammy_

_6 New Text Messages:_

_Message from: Alastair:_

_[hey man. im sorry for beating up your little crush. hope this doesn’t come between our friendship. Adios Bitch]_

Dean didn’t respond. He simply went into his contact list and deleted Alastair’s phone number. _That fucking douchebag deserves it._

_Message from: Dad:_

_[Dean? Where are you? Dinner has been ready for 20 minutes. Text me or your mom or Sammy.]_

_Message from: Mom:_

_[Dean, baby. Dinner’s on hold for you in the fridge. I also made pie. Please come home at a reasonable hour. That means before tomorrow. Love you sweetheart!]_

_Messages from: Sammy:_

_[Hey Dean! Jess is driving me home from school so don’t wait up! See you at home]_

_[Dude, where are you? You need to communicate with the family, man]_

_[Mom left your dinner in the fridge. It’s pasta salad.]_

_[I ate your pie]_

Dean sent quick messages back to his family saying that he’d be home before the sun came back up and that he loved them. He also sent a not so nice message to his brother, stating that someone was going to have to do his math homework for the next three nights for the pie mishap. _Maybe I can jump on that deal. I’m awful at math._

After a while, the doctors came back out and told Dean that he could go sit in Castiel’s room. He was still unconscious, but stable.

***

When the doctors finished looking at Castiel, he had glue on his lip, a head wrap, and  had been laying in a bed for about an hour. Spirit Castiel decided it was time to return to his body. He reached his hand out and touched the forehead of Castiel. With another moan. Castiel opened his eyes. The hospital room was completely white, and smelled like disinfectant. This made Castiel’s head hurt even more.

“Hey, you’re awake! I’ll go get the doctor!” Dean got out of his chair by Castiel’s bed and jogged out of the room to the nurses station. He returned a moment later with a doctor. The name on his tag said that the doctor’s name was Dr. Edlund.

“Hello, Castiel. Nice to see you awake! My name is Dr. Edlund.” the man spoke. He seemed all too cheery for an ER doctor. “So according to your chart here…”’ he flipped open a metal clipboard filled with papers, “.. it seems as though you’re suffering from a mild concussion, and a split lip. Your ribs are slightly bruised and your nose is broken.” _Called it._ “Tell me Castiel, how did this happen?” Dr. Edlund asked.

“Well uh…” Castiel started, “I was being bullied at school and got beat up.”

“Yes, okay. And may I ask whom the bully was? Or why they were beating you up?”

“Uh, yeah… his name is Alastair and he was bullying me because I’m a nerd” It was almost the truth. Castiel was being bullied because he was a nerd; he just didn’t need Dr.Edlund knowing that the real reason was because Castiel was gay.

“Alright then, Castiel. I’m going to prescribe you some painkillers and send you on your way. You’re 18 years of age, so there is no need for a guardian to release you. Unless you need to call them for a ride home?” Dr. Edlund stated as he turned to walk out of the room.

Dean looked down at Castiel. He had a pitied look in his eyes that also resembled nervousness. He slowly settled into his chair again, and stared at Castiel with his green eyes. _Good god, your eyes are the most gorgeous eyes I’ve ever seen on a human being._ Dean cleared his throat.

“Hey, Castiel,” Dean said. His voice shook slightly. _Why is he so goddamn nervous? Oh- wait. DEAN WINCHESTER HAS A CRUSH ON ME. I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT ABOUT THAT._

“H-hi, Dean,” _Nice. Way to reel the big fish in, Castiel._

“How're you feel- wait that’s dumb of me to ask… Uh…” Dean didn’t know what he was doing. “... uh.. yeah.. so what’s up…?” Dean smacked his palm to his face. Castiel let out a small laugh. Dean looked up at Castiel and smiled weakly. “Sorry, I’m no good at this.” He chuckled.

“It’s fine,” Castiel was giggling now. His chest hurt because of his bruised ribs, and Castiel started to cough. Dean sprung up.

“I’ll go get the nurse! Don’t die!” Dean turned around to leave.

“W-wait!” Castiel called. Dean stopped and looked back at Castiel. “I’m fine. It’s just a cough. I’ll live,” Castiel smiled, trying to reassure Dean. It seemed to work because Dean sat back down in his chair and folded his arms in his lap.

“So… do you remember anything that happened after you passed out?” Dean asked. _I remember everything thing that happened. I was there in astral projection form. I was a dumbass and almost told you about my crush on you, even though you accidentally told me about your crush. Oh- wait I probably shouldn’t say that. He might think I’m crazy…_ Castiel looked at Dean.

“I uh… remember you calling me Cas,” Castiel said. Dean blushed, which made Castiel blush. “I-it’s okay you called me that. I kind of liked it. I’ve never had a nickname before besides fag or faggot or other hurtful names made up by classmates.” Dean seemed to ease a little bit, but was still blushing.

“Uh… anything else..?” He asked. _Do I bring up the fact that I know you have a crush on me? No, no Castiel, don’t bring it up._ Castiel shook his head. Dean let out a sigh. “Well, I guess that’s that.” He smiled at Castiel.

“Hey, Dean?” Dean nodded. “Will you drive me home?” Castiel asked. He didn’t want to bother Dean. He just didn’t feel the need to call his parents and explain his situation at the moment.

“Sure, Cas. I’d be honored to drive you home,” Dean spoke with sincerity. “Let me check you out.” Dean stood to leave, but slowly turned back around, giggling, “I meant out of the hospital..” He winked and then turned away from a blushing Castiel. _What is this boy doing to me?_

_***_

Once Castiel signed a bunch of legal papers that he had no idea what they meant, he followed Dean outside to the Impala. He opened the passenger side door and sat in his spot. The Impala smelled like Dean. _Excitement, Leather, and Sex_. Not that Castiel knew what Dean smelled like… _Psh_. Dean got in the driver’s seat and put the keys into the ignition. The Impala roared to life and started heading to the Novak residence.

“So, uh Cas,” Dean started. Castiel turned to face Dean. Dean glanced over to make sure Castiel was listening, and breathing, then returned his gaze back to the road. “I uh wanted to ask you something earlier today, but never got the chance to.” _???????_ “When you picked up my pencil today during math, I was going to ask you if you wanted to maybe hang out sometime, but you turned away too quickly for me to ask.” Castiel opened his mouth to say _What? You want to hang out with me?! That’s ridiculous! I’m a nerd, Dean. Jocks and nerds don’t hang out together. Alone.,_ but was cut off by Dean. “Hold on, let me finish… At lunch, Alastair said that you were staring at our lunch table, and when I turned to look, you weren’t. And when I saw you and Alastair going up stairs, I waited back a few minutes, hoping you’d notice me waiting, either for you or Alastair as a back up plan.” Castiel couldn’t believe his ears. His heart was pounding, _or was it his head?_ “When you didn’t come out of the bathroom for a while, I thought that you had seen me and snuck down the south hallway stairs. I thought you were annoyed by me and that you were trying to avoid me. I was going to turn around and go home, but I heard Alastair talking to someone, and shuffling from upstairs. When I opened the bathroom door and saw you laying there, limp and with little life left, I grew angry. I feel really bad about this whole situation...  And then Alastair said that you had a crush on me, and I lost it. If you hadn’t gained consciousness right when you did, there’s a good chance that there would have been two boys in the hospital tonight. I was ready to throw punches. I know this is a lot and I’m sorry.”

Castiel was trying really hard to comprehend everything that Dean was saying. _Dean Winchester wanted to hang out with me. He tried to get my attention all day. He heard a rumor that Castiel liked him. He was willing to punch one of his best friends in the face for Castiel. This is a lot. Fuck._

The Impala pulled up in front of Castiel’s house. _How did Dean know this was my house? I didn’t even give him my address…_ “I have one more thing to say to you, Castiel…” Dean started. _Now what?_ “Uhm.. when we were in the car earlier…” _What? No_. “You were kind of going in and out through consciousness…” _No. no. no. no._ “And when you passed out for the last time…” _Nonononononono…_ “You kinda dropped the ole’ “I like you” bomb on me…” _NONONONONONONONONO._ Castiel felt hot and clammy. The Impala’s temperature seemed to be rising. Castiel’s face was flushed and nervous. “And then you passed out again before I could answer.” Dean seemed like he was finished, so Castiel started speaking.

“Dean, I’m so so so sorry! I didn’t mean for that to slip out of my mouth. I didn’t know that you were trying to get my attention all day. And I totally understand if you hate me. I’m s-” Castiel was cut off by Dean’s lips on his. Dean’s lips were soft and inviting. They weren’t super forceful on Castiel’s, just enough to get him to stop rambling. The kiss was sending a shock through every nerve in Castiel’s body. He closed his eyes, and leaned into the kiss more. Dean placed his hands on Castiel's face and breathed him in. It was fiery. It was intoxicating. Castiel’s breathing quickened, causing him to pull away from Dean in order to catch a breath. His lip hurt from where Alastair had split it open, and his lungs were burning.

“Your lips taste like glue,” Dean whispered. “I’ve been wanting to do that since 7th grade.”

Castiel had no idea how to respond to what had just happened. _…………………………………………………….I just kissed Dean Winchester…. Dean fucking Winchester just described what my lips taste like. How do I speak words? Ugh, my head is pounding from confusion._

Castiel said the first thing that came to his mind.

“Ow.”

_****  
_

 

****  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adding another chapter soon! I already has this one done so I just added it. Again, Kudos and Comment's are appreciated!!! Thank you :)


	3. Chapter 3

“Ow,” Castiel spoke. Dean looked worried. He quickly took his hands down from Castiel’s face, and placed them on the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry, Castiel. I shouldn’t have done that.” Dean’s hands tapped nervously. His beautiful green eyes wouldn’t look at Castiel. Castiel felt as though he would pass out. _You done fucked up, Castiel. Look at him, you made him think that you’re rejecting him. SAY SOMETHING ELSE. BESIDES OW._

Castiel cleared his throat. “Uh-uhm… Dean?” He turned to Castiel, but his eyes stayed down. “Dean, look at me,” Castiel lifted his chin. Dean’s green eyes were duller than before, and they were starting to water.

Dean’s watery eyes suddenly bursted into actual tears. “I didn’t mean to force anything upon you, Castiel! I just thought that… actually, I don't know what I thought…! I’m sorry. It’s just that I’ve liked you since 7th grade when I found out about this other boy in a trenchcoat who had the same “sickness” as my dad calls it. And I just always thought I’d have the nerve to talk to you and I never did. I even tried to join Earth Club because I knew how much you liked bees, but Alastair told me not to, because that would make me look desperate. But look where his advice got you and me! We’re sitting in my car, you’re all bruised and broken, and I thought it’d be a good time to try and make out with you? I’m such a fucking idiot, Castiel. I’m so sorry…” Dean’s sobs made his whole body shake, and it made Castiel’s heart hurt. _Look what happens when you say something stupid, Castiel. But, on the bright side… you got a little more info about this crush of Dean’s…._

Castiel was still holding Dean’s chin, and Dean rested his head into Castiel’s palm, and closed his eyes. “Are you done, Dean?” Castiel asked. Dean’s eyes opened, sending a few more tears down his cheeks. Castiel brushed them away with his thumb. “Good. ‘Cause I’ve been waiting to do this since 7th grade.” Castiel brought their faces together, and then slowly eased his mouth onto Dean’s. _Bliss_. Dean leaned in more, and brought his hands back up to Castiel’s face again. They moved together and it felt like fire. Dean traced Castiel’s lower lips with his tongue, and Castiel opened his mouth. He felt Dean’s tongue graze his and mapped out Castiel’s mouth. _This is amazing…_ Dean tasted like cinnamon apples, and cream soda. Dean pulled his tongue slowly out of Castiel’s mouth, and tugged on Cas’s lower lip with with his teeth. _Oh...god…_ Castiel moaned. Dean was dangerous… Sure, Castiel has made out with other guys with leather jackets, and husky voices like Dean before, but never, _never_. had someone made him moan… And Dean fucking knew that he was driving Castiel crazy. He teased Castiel by inching into the kiss and then pulling back again, making Castiel whine with the loss of breath on his mouth.

“Wow… That was awesome…” Dean whispered. Their faces were inches apart, and both were breathing kind of hard. Speaking of hard…. Castiel shifted Dean closer to hid the fact that his jeans were slightly tenting. Dean didn’t seen to notice though. “Castiel… your eyes are beautiful…” Dean was staring deep into his eyes. _They’re blue… just blue… a lot of people have blue eyes, Dean._

Castiel was blushing and whispered, “They’re just blue…”

“Yeah, they are blue. But, they’re more than that…” _Dean Winchester is getting lost in my eyes… “_ They’re like oceans. They’re gorgeous…” Dean’s thumbs stroked Castiel’s face. “Sorry, that sounded really sappy… I don’t know, man… I feel like I can say anything to you…” Dean was giggling. It was music to Castiel’s ears.

“I’m glad you feel that way, Dean…” Castiel whispered into Dean’s mouth, starting another heated moment between the two. Castiel’s split lip hurt like hell, but he didn’t even care. He enjoyed the pain. He enjoyed everything that Dean was doing to him. _Fuck, I love this too much…_

***

It had been about 45 minutes since they had pulled into Castiel’s driveway, and sadly, Castiel had to get out of the car in order to let Dean go home at a reasonable hour. As he stepped out of the Impala, a thought hit him like a truck. _Where does this put us? What happens at school? I’m going to ruin his_ reputation. I’m a gay nerd. He’s a jock. THAT CAN'T HAPPEN.

“Yes it can, Castiel.” Dean spoke. _Fuck. Did I just say that all out loud?_ “Yeah, you did.” _Fuck!_

“I mean- shit-shoot-ugh… I’m sorry, I can’t do this.” Castiel said. _It’s not right… I want it, but it’s not right…_

Dean got out of the Impala, and jogged to stand in front of Castiel. “Listen. I don’t care about any stupid reputation that I have. I even deleted Alastair’s phone number! I don’t want you to feel like you’re dragging me down. ‘Cause in all honesty, you make me feel like I’m ten feet off the ground. I don’t want the jocks or popularity, Castiel. I want you.” Dean wrapped his arms around Castiel. It was nice. They stayed like that, enclosed in each other’s arms for a while. Castiel didn’t notice that he’s been crying until he felt a wet tear stream down his face. He looked up at Dean. “Hey, Cas… please don’t cry…” Dean whispered into Castiel’s ear. “We can make this work.”

“Dean, I can't breathe. You’re crushing my ribs,” Castiel gasped. Dean immediately took a step back, but kept his arms on Castiel’s. Castiel inhaled and exhaled deeply, and smiled. “Okay, Dean. If you think that everything will be okay, then I believe you.”

“Really?” Castiel nodded. “That’s great, Cas. That’s really.. great,” Now Dean looked close to tears again. “”Cause, I really like you, Cas…” He took a step forward and placed a chaste kiss against Castiel’s mouth, then pulled away, smiled, and got back into the Impala. It’s engine roared and backed down Castiel’s driveway. Castiel could hear Dean blasting “Highway to Hell” by ACDC. He smiled to himself and walked (/skipped) into his house.

***

“Oh my gosh, Castiel! Your face!” Anna nearly screamed as Castiel stepped into the kitchen to get an icepack for his head. “What the hell happened?! You look like you got hit by a car! Did someone do this to you?!” She was frantic. She was pulling Castiel towards her so she could examine him herself. She pulled at his shirt, checking for bruises, and anything else that she thought could kill someone. She lightly stroked his arm up and down on the countless scars Castiel had given to himself. He always had them covered, but Anna had known since she walked in in Castiel slicing up his (beautiful as Anna had called it through her tears) skin. “Talk to m- OH MY GOD YOUR MOUTH. IT’S SWOLLEN!” Castiel reached up to his mouth. It tingled as he touched his lips. _Probably from Dean, but we’ll just go with Alastair’s right hook…_

“I- uh got in a fight at school?” Castiel tried. Anna wasn’t buying it.

“Do you think I was born yesterday, Castiel? What really happened?”

_This would be a lot easier if you were born yesterday, Anna…_ Castiel sighed and gave in. He told Anna everything that happened. He told Anna about how he’d been late to school, picking up Dean’s pencil, being dragged into the upstairs bathroom, the beating, Dean running in, passing out, astral projection, Dean almost punching Alastair and calling him Cas, carrying him to the Impala, the hospital, the car confessions, and the kissing. Throughout the whole thing, Anna didn’t interrupt Castiel once. She let him finish his story before she said anything.

“That is so... sad yet happy at the same time... But wait, you think you can astral project?” Anna asked.

“Is that the only thing you got from that?” Castiel’s eyes narrowed at his little sister.

“Sorry,” Anna laughed, “I just think that’s ridiculous…”

“Well, it happened. Just wait. I’ll show you. I just have to go to sleep,” Castiel was determined to show that he wasn’t crazy.

“Okay, okay, sure. Go to bed. You’re not going to school tomorrow, though. So, get on upstairs to bed, Mr. Astral Projection. Or else, you’ll wish you were still in a slight coma.”

“Yeah, okay, Mom.”

“Love you, Castiel!” Anna called after Castiel, as he jogged upstairs. Anna really was like a mother, though. Their real mother had abandoned them when they were young, and their father was only around every once in a while. So really, all the two had were each other and their older brother Gabriel, who was away at college. Anna would clean and make dinner; Castiel would run errands and do yard work. It was a good system, and they were good at it. They were brother and sister, but also best-friends. _Love you, too, Ann a._

***

Castiel was laying in his bed, trying to count sheep. He couldn’t sleep. The throbbing throughout his entire body was keeping him awake. Castiel got up to use the bathroom for the second time in the past hour. _Maybe I should take some melatonin..? No, it’d be a bad idea to mix medicines…_ When Castiel returned to his bed, he closed his eyes again. _Dream of Dean… Dream of what he had shared with you… Dream, Castiel. Dream…._

Castiel opened his eyes again, and stood up. _Jesus fucking Christ, this is like torture. What is in that medicine? Caffeine? What the he-_ Castiel stared down at his own body, asleep underneath his covers and blankets. _Oh. Okay… I can work with this… I’m okay… I’m not crazy.. this is actually happening…_

Castiel left his room by walking, literally, through the door. _How do I prove that this is actually happening, though…_ Castiel walked to Anna’s room. She was painting her nails after just getting out of the shower. There was still fog on her mirror in her bathroom. Perfect… Castiel walked over to the mirror and placed his hand on it. It left his imprint when he took his hand away. _PERFECT…_ Castiel continued to write:

_I told you I’m not crazy, Anna!_

  * _Mr. Astral Projection._




Castiel heard a gasp behind him. He turned to see Anna with her wide eyes reading the mirror. Her face wasn’t fear, but more stunned. She cocked her head to the side, re-reading the message over, and over.

“CASTIEL!” Anna’s shout rang out throughout the house. She stomped over to Castiel’s room, and barged through the door. Castiel’s body was laying still in his bed. “What the hell…” Anna whispered as she tiptoed back out of the room. _HA HA THIS IS FANTASTIC!_

Once again in Anna’s room, Castiel tried to move objects around. This proved to be a lot more difficult than he thought, and couldn’t even pick up a penny off of Anna’s carpet. _What the fuck. That’s so stupid._ Castiel glided over to Anna’s desk, and tried to fiddle with her homework. Nothing happened. _Shit nuggets_. His hand floated over Anna’s desk lamp. The light bulb flickered for a moment, but then shone again. _Wait a second…_ Castiel did it again, and sure enough, the bulb flickered. _Now we’re getting somewhere…_

“Castiel, I swear to god. Stop playing with my damn light, and go back to your body. You’re annoying the crap out of me,” Anna growled. She was not as amused as Castiel.  

***

Castiel returned to his sleeping self and touched his forehead. The rush of going back to his body woke him up. _Woah_ … Castiel laid his head back down to sleep, only to be once again standing up, looking down at his own body. _So… now what…? Do I just wander around since I can't go back to my body without waking up…?_

Castiel shrugged and walked downstairs to the living room. _What the hell am I supposed to do for the next 8 hours? I can't touch anything or anyone. I can only observe. This is too weird._ Castiel started to hyperventilate _. I need some air…_

He walked outside and sat on their driveway. _Inhale… Exhale…_ Castiel looked around at his neighborhood. All the lights were out except for the streetlamp down the block. It gave off an eerie, orange glow that gave Castiel chills. In the distance, Castiel heard a car engine growl. He turned to his right to see a black car turn onto his street. _Is that…?_

The Impala drove smoothly across the pavement and into Castiel’s driveway. The driver’s side door opened and boots stepped out. Dean Winchester was holding Castiel’s trenchcoat. Castiel hadn’t even realized that he had left his coat in Dean’s car. Castiel stood and waved at Dean. _Wait he can’t see me. Idiot._ Dean walked up to the front porch and placed it gently on one of the rocking chairs. He pulled out a cell phone, too, and tucked it into the fabric, carefully hiding it between the layers. _Wow. I forgot my coat and my phone… nice._ Dean then proceeded to take out his own phone and punched in some numbers, then held it up to his ear. Castiel’s phone in the coat started to ring. _What?_

“Hey, Cas. Er- Castiel.. It’s me, uh- Dean Winchester. You left your coat in my car earlier, and I had picked up your phone in the bathroom when you dropped it, so I’m just dropping them off now… I uh…” Dean paused and rubbed the bridge of his nose and fingers, “Uhm… the doctors said that you might not remember anything because of your concussion, but if you ever wanted to talk about anything, I left my number in your phone. So, uh, yeah. Just text me.. or I’ll text you… or uh… yeah. I don’t know… I’ll see ya tomorrow at school, Cas- I mean Castiel-. Yeah. Bye.” Dean hung up his phone. “Wow I’m so smooth..”

_Dean Winchester, you are the kindest human being on the planet. Thank you so much._

Dean walked back to the Impala and sat in the driver’s seat. The engine again roared to life, and started to back down the driveway. Castiel regretted to see Dean go, and got an idea.

_I’m insane_. Castiel ran down his driveway, and dove into the back seat of the Impala as it started to drive down to road.

 

_Completely insane..._   
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does anyone have any suggestions? Comments are a great way to help me write this better!! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! This is my first destiel fanfic ever so, I apologize if it's not suuuper great... I'm still getting the hang of it. If you enjoy this please give kudos! Comments are great too! :)


End file.
